please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
