You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
