my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
