I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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