Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
