you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
