Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
