I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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