i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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