It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
