Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
