i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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