eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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