Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
