that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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