eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
