girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
