whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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