Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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