Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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