Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
