am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm always down for nudity.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
