you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
