Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
