i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
