Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
