i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
