i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
