Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
