Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
