would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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