anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
