the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
