Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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