you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
