Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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