You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
