my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
