you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
