I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
