just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
