happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
