woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
