So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
