I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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