Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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