I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
