you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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