Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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