filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
