Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
