id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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