Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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